


a mother, an illness, and never letting go

by writerdragonfly



Series: [keep us together] [9]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Family of Rogues AU, Gen, Mental Health Issues, References to non-specific drug use, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerdragonfly/pseuds/writerdragonfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Francine West knew she wasn't a good mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a mother, an illness, and never letting go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissSugarPlum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSugarPlum/gifts), [dragdragdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragdragdragon/gifts).
  * Inspired by [three generations, two dangers, and a last chance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6018634) by [writerdragonfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerdragonfly/pseuds/writerdragonfly). 



> Warning for worsening mental illness, delusional thought processes, and fatal illness pertaining to Francine West, though no character death occurs within the fic.
> 
> Huge thanks [Kelsey ](http://that-pumpkinspicewhitegirl.tumblr.com)for looking this over, and for most of my title. You're fantastic, honeybee. <3
> 
> Spoilers through chapter 5 of [three generations, two dangers, and a last chance](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6018634/chapters/13809154).

Francine knew that she wasn't a good mother. She had tried to be, with Iris. At first, it was easy. Bottle, change, hold, rock. But it got harder after that, and she felt like she was being stifled.

 

The drugs had started by accident. She knows that much, though things got really fuzzy after that.

 

She got clean a few weeks after Joe asked her to leave and filed for divorce. She didn't want to, wanted to stay in that haze of warmth. But she was pregnant, and she... It was a do-over. She decided then and there that she was going to prove to Joe she could do this, be a good parent.

 

Wally was a good baby. He didn't cry as much as Iris had, and things were easy for awhile. But then things got hard again.

 

She met Mickey while high, she knows that much. She doesn't really remember what she was doing, but he was strong and exciting and could hold her up against a wall.  She didn't love him--she'd only ever loved one man--but she liked him.

 

Getting pregnant again was an accident. A failed condom, and then she had another little girl that she knew she wouldn't be able to take care of.

 

Mickey though, Mickey would.

 

She tried to stay, tried again even though she didn't expect things to change. Wally was already being raised by her father, but it didn't mean she wouldn't try.

 

She left them anyway.

 

Sometimes she went back to Wally, spent months with him and her father, stayed clean and tried her best to be a parent. And then the guilt would get to her, and she ended up on Mickey's doorstep and she'd try, she really would, to be a parent to Seraphina too.

 

But it wasn't easy like it was with Wally. Seraphina was so much like Iris had been and so much like Mickey, that she never managed to stay for long.

 

She kept falling back into drugs, into the lifestyle. Into the one that brought her Mickey but took her from Iris.

 

It just kept happening, but the older Seraphina got the harder it was to come back to her at all.

 

She found out she was pregnant again, and she got clean. She got clean, went home to her father and Wally, and things were good for awhile.

 

Her father got sick before the baby was born, died not long after.

 

And Francine didn't know what to do. She didn't want to be a parent. Wally was grown, her girls certainly didn't need her.

 

She dropped in on Mickey in the middle of the night, handed over the new kid, and left.

 

She hadn't intended to return.

 

Mickey could have his girls. Francine had Wally, and that's all that mattered.

 

But then she got her diagnosis. And the doctor asked her a million questions about her mental health, about her relationships, about her drug use.

 

And suddenly things made sense to her. Her inability to be a parent wasn't her fault, it was her illness.

 

"It's in the advanced stages, Ms. West. I'm afraid it's terminal."

 

But it was too late.

 

She searched and searched, because Cece or Francine--she wasn't ready to die. She had kids out there, and they needed her. God knows they didn't need Mickey as their parent. He was fine while she couldn't handle things, but surely once she was cured, she'd get them. They deserved a mother.

 

She found a clinic in Star City, an experimental cure.

 

Bone marrow. A transplant from a close match might cure her. Surely Iris was old enough now to offer.

 

She'd want the time to get to know her. Wouldn’t she?

 

So she packed up her life, told Wally she’d be back in a few weeks, and left.

 

But Joe said Iris didn’t want to see her. Mickey refused to let her take Seraphina and wouldn’t even let her touch the baby.

 

(And why had she let him name the kids? Seraphina was a ridiculous name, and Din? That wasn’t a name at all!)

 

Francine kept trying. She needed to have Iris tested, surely Iris would be willing if she knew?

 

She kept calling, kept stopping by.

 

And eventually Joe told her to come by on a Saturday, that Iris was willing to talk to her.

 

But it didn't go the way she wanted. Iris was angry words and dark eyes, and so utterly selfish.

 

So Francine leaves. Francine leaves and she goes to her hotel room and cleans up, spends some time talking to Wally on the phone-- her little boy is so grown up, not like his sister at all--and she makes herself eat a little.

 

She doesn't get into her stash. She wants to, but she knows Iris will deny her even entering if she turns up high.

 

When she ends up at Mickey’s, his car is gone from the driveway. The front porch light is on though, so someone is home. It's perfect. She can talk to Seraphina without Mickey poisoning her mind. 

 

She doesn't knock. The door is locked but she knows where Mickey keeps a spare key.

 

Seraphina is eating a sandwich when she opens the door, and her eyes go wide and surprised when she sees her.

 

“What are you doing here?” the girl asks and there's such distrust in her voice that it makes Francine’s stomach twist.

 

“I wanted to take you girls out to eat,” Francine tries, but Seraphina shakes her head almost violently.

 

“We’re not going anywhere with you.”

 

“Just the baby then, I can watch her so you can get some time to yourself.”

 

Seraphina jumps out of her seat, standing protectively in front of the baby.

 

“She's not going anywhere with you!”

 

“Seraphina--”

 

“Stop!”

 

And then her little girl defiantly pulls a cell phone out of her pocket and starts a call, “Sir? This is Sera, Sera Rory?”

 

Francine feels like the world’s been shaken out from under her.

 

She knows she yells back at her, because she needs the baby at least. If Iris won't do it for her, maybe she’ll do it for the baby. And if not, she could always see if the baby’s a match.

 

She wants to be a good mom, why don't they understand?

 

And then Joe is there. Joe is there and he just storms in like he owns the place and Sera--he even knew to call her Sera and not Seraphina and Francine didn't know that--Sera calls him Uncle Joe.

 

But he seems legitimately surprised to see her there, so he doesn't know they're her girls, but...

 

Then he's telling her girls to go pack, that they're going with him.

 

“They're my kids, Joe, not yours!”

 

“They stopped being your kids the moment you abandoned them, Francine, and trust me, no court is going to give them back to you.”

 

But arguing with him gets her nothing. The other cop--Iris’s husband?--takes the girls out to the car and Francine finally realizes that Joe’s been poisoning their minds too.

 

She shoulda known Mickey and Joe were in on it together.

 

When Francine leaves, she acts like it’s the last time she's going to try.

 

But it isn't. She's not going to die, damn it, she thinks to herself.

 

And begins to plan.


End file.
